Modern Qualifier 20 – PARTY HEAD RECORD SHAVE

2022 debut single from Sutton Coldfield’s finest, big on TikTok. Nominated by Machotrouts.
From the legendary actor-singer’s 2019 covers LP Open Your Eyes. Nominated by Daniel W.
Hard to work out when this Irish rebel song was first recorded or even when the Fighting Men’s version is from but it seemed to fit well here. Nominated by bartlebooth45.
From the cabaret country singer’s self-released On My Knees – early 00s I believe. Nominated by Tamara B.

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Modern Qualifier 19 – NASTY DONE BALLOON REAPPROPRIATE

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bartlebooth45

15 May 2023 14:12

Pete and Bas in the streets, Northern Boys in the sheets. While their geriatric contemporaries extoll the joys of old man gangster lifestyle like Mad Frankie Fraser with a cracked copy of Ableton, Norman and Patrick have a far bleaker and more interesting outlook. Broken down sad old men stumbling towards death doing too many drugs in a very British manner, the essential spirit of someone doing gak in a spoons bogs. Also the linguistic dexterity of lines like “Taco Tuesday” rhymed with “Spaff on your booblays” constantly get stuck in my head as does Patrick’s surprise for his neighbour.

Despite loving the Boys I don’t think they need the help here and went with my nom of Fenian Record Player which is in the fine tradition of wry and funny Irish rebel songs like Man From the Daily Mail and My Old Man’s a Provo. A surreal and witty tale of crime not paying and sentient gramophones.

Did also enjoy Ms Starlite’s take on Deana Carter, also honouring the long tradition of dry wit that country shares with folk. Reminds me of Lavender Country, Trixie Mattel or Mojo Nixon.

The Hoff? When this came out I put the whole album on on a van ride to a gig as a laugh and almost got left by the side of the road.

Tom

15 May 2023 13:43

Sorry – yet in another, truer sense not sorry – to the Hoff’s nominator for having the segue into his track be someone bellowing “DO YOU WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO A SAD OLD MAN?”

Lady Elevator

17 May 2023 11:53

Reply to Tom

I originally misread this and was deeply disappointed that Hasselhoff wasn’t the one asking if we wanted to make love to a sad old man. I wondered if I’d missed that lyric in Head On…

actualee simpson

15 May 2023 13:56

Well this is certainly the *weirdest* set of songs that might also be a platinum beat to date.

magnets321

15 May 2023 14:09

had to go with the Northern Boys. made me reflect on masculinity

j_e_l

15 May 2023 14:42

But it’s just horrible, an updated Goldie Lookin’ Chain. I get it’s meant to be funny, but it’s just a void of LOL’s.

vinnycrackers

15 May 2023 17:25

Reply to j_e_l

I absolutely just LOL’ed at “a number 3” but I had quite a bit of shame about that.

j_e_l

15 May 2023 15:16

Reply to j_e_l

I dunno, can’t be bothered to listen again – satire lost on me here

j_e_l

15 May 2023 14:49

Reply to j_e_l

I voted for the Hoff of course

Dan Bright-Amaya

15 May 2023 16:03

I can’t get over The Hoff doing JAMC. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry. “I could die and I wouldn’t mind” turns into a line about karaoke going badly or something.

wmterhaar

16 May 2023 09:40

Reply to Dan Bright-Amaya

Wait, that’s a JAMC song? Good choice, because that means even The Hoff can only improve on it. He at least puts some effort in. Still nowhere as good as ‘True Survivor’ though, which I know realize should have been in the soundtrack poll

Dan Bright-Amaya

15 May 2023 16:16

Reply to Dan Bright-Amaya

I want to believe it’s a real heartfelt take on a song that he genuinely loves and I’m voting on that basis 🙂

legsdiamond

15 May 2023 17:37

as the hoff nominator i’m glad it’s getting such a good (strong might be a better word) response. can’t fault norman and patrick for taking the lead though – proper anfem, that

Tom

15 May 2023 20:43

Jel’s “Goldie Lookin’ Chain” burn stung but it did make me think you can trace the 21st century deterioration of Britain in the way its novelty rappers are getting progressively more scabrous – GLC to early Sleaford Mods* to Northern Boys, each making the previous batch look half-hearted.

*we’ve got the Mods coming up later this week – this NBs track doesn’t so much remind me of that as of grimy (in the general sense) stuff like “Trixie”.

sclv

15 May 2023 23:50

The hoff track is just ever so much more draggy, dreary and lifeless than either the original or the delightful pixies cover — no *swing*. Just about the most inessential version I can think of. And oh dear that guitar solo. Staggeringly competent, and nothing like it should be.
As long as we’re doing novelty tracks, I went with Tammy Faye which manages to walk the line between serious and absurd with some shock value and panache.

wmterhaar

16 May 2023 09:43

A song that is both a UK novelty song and a TikTok hit: we’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

qosephine

16 May 2023 10:30

I’ve never really liked JAMC so I’m finding David Hasselhoff’s version more enjoyable! He sounds like he’s having a lovely evening out at karaoke.

j_e_l

16 May 2023 10:46

Keep seeing JAMC, and have finally worked out what this means! Was just assuming that Hoff was working with some hot producer called JAMC – pronounced Ja Mac

James BC

16 May 2023 11:12

I’m astounded to be voting against the Northern Boys – it really feels like their time – but the Fenian Record Player is brilliant.

RobertK

16 May 2023 17:48

I admire people for getting a little silly with their picks, especially as it’s all for a good cause, but I think I might have to vote “absent” on this group. Hopefully a family of asylum seekers in the UK was able to get a hot meal thanks to “Did I Shave My Vagina For This.”

qosephine

17 May 2023 15:32

Reply to RobertK

Quite right – none of these picks are mine, but for one or two of my nominations I *may* have taken the attitude that I can make the pop poll voters listen to any silly songs that I like…

koganbot

17 May 2023 10:00

Have a friend who recounted when a teacher of hers back in college said, “I am now going to ruin Emily Dickinson for you,” and commenced singing “Because I could not stop for Death – He kindly stopped for me” to the tune of “Yellow Rose Of Texas.”

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Modern Qualifier 20 – PARTY HEAD RECORD SHAVE

Modern Poll Day 4 Playlists

Modern Qualifier 19 – NASTY DONE BALLOON REAPPROPRIATE

The Discourse